I grew up in Garrett County with a single mother and two younger brothers. My father was an alcoholic and would pop into my life sporadically here and there with all the fake promises and lies that us addicts conjure up to get our love ones off our backs but would always fall through. He would constantly be drunk, keeping us up at night when we had school the next morning. I always wanted to protect my mom from him when he would get violent, but I was young and scared and didn’t know what to do. So, I would just sit in my room and pray that he would just stop and leave my mom and us alone. He once gave my mom a black eye and she had to go to school and teach her students looking like that and it just killed me inside to see her have to go through that.
I always loved watching and playing sports as a kid. I played basketball and football through high school. I had alot of friends growing up, but never really felt like I fit in with the crowd. I was always kind of shy, especially with the ladies until in high school I found alcohol myself. I had tried it a few times before, but around my junior year my friends and I met a guy that would come play basketball with us and was down to buy us alcohol whenever we wanted. So, on the weekends my buddy’s mom would let us invite friends from school over and have little parties at her house, and with the alcohol in my system I found the courage I’d been searching for my entire life. I started talking to girls and eventually lost my virginity. I finally felt like I fit in.
Around the same time, I met a guy that moved to the neighborhood and he asked me if I wanted to go on a ride through the valley with him and smoke some weed. I was nervous at first, but once I took that first hit I knew I had arrived. All I wanted to do was get high after that. I started neglecting my school work. Started staying out late at night and hanging out with a really bad crowd and dragging some of my friends into the lifestyle with me. And, once I started selling drugs my ego and pride really took ahold of me, and I neglected my safety and the safety of my friends and family.
I had gotten a few sports injuries and got my wisdom teeth taken out, and every time I was prescribed Hydrocodone. Me and my buddies would crush them up and snort the powder and it gave us this euphoric feeling of relaxation. So, once my prescription was gone we’d go out looking for it on the streets. And then I was introduced to heroin…
A friend of mine had moved to Pittsburgh to go to college and had been introduced to heroin up there. Well, he decided that he could buy a bag of dope in Pittsburgh and come back to Garrett county and sell it for a hefty profit. I was quickly introduced to injecting the heroin and my life took a very fast fall to rock bottom. I lost my job and began stealing money from my mom and other family members. I lost a relationship with a great girl because I would lie to her about the things I was doing. I was now selling heroin to support my habit even though I was using more than I was selling which lead me to harassing my mom for money and stealing money out of my brotherās wallet while he was sleeping.
It got so bad that my mother had to take out a restraining order against me, which I broke several times. I got my first arrest in 2011 when I was bringing heroin across the state line from Terra Alta. I begged my mom to bail me out and promised her I would get on the maintenance drug Suboxone, which I did for a short period but I quickly found myself selling those to buy more heroin.
So,Ā the last 9 years have been me in and out of jail. In 2017 I came out of jail to the newest craze !!!METH!!!!Ā A guy I was in jail withĀ connectedĀ me with a guy,Ā andĀ making money and meth quickly become my new obsession. I felt like the king of the world. IĀ had womenĀ and friendsĀ allĀ around me,Ā or so I thought. I was justĀ reckless, doing things I would neverĀ haveĀ imagined I would do to maintain my lifestyle. On May 18,Ā 2018,Ā I was surprised by two flashbangs going off and quickly arrestedĀ for intent to distribute and sentenced to a 9-year prison sentence. I was scared to death. One of the things that has kept me sick was never having to get out of my comfort zone, and I was faced with that in the worst way possible.
After 2 years in prison I was granted the 85-07,Ā which isĀ whereĀ instead of finishing your prison time you go to aĀ long-termĀ treatment facility. I went to New Horizons treatment center in Emmitsburg,Ā Maryland,Ā on April 13, 2020,Ā and that’s where my new begin really started. It’s a behavioral modification program so I really got to look at the root of why I consistently kept repeating the same behavior. It got me out of my comfort zone and worked on my mental health as well. I was prescribed medication for my anxiety and depression which helped me work on my self-esteem issues. I began working aĀ 12-stepĀ program with a sponsor and began getting outside of myself and found a love for giving back and helping others.
I left treatment on October 13, 2020, and since then continued with meetings at the Liberty Club where I’ve met some great people to lean on for support. I enrolled in college where I plan on obtaining a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I want to work in the addiction field and give back to other addicts struggling with addiction. My family and I now have a great relationship. I don’t put off my responsibilities and procrastinate till the last minute to get things done.
I have peace in my life for the first time in over a decade. And today,Ā even my worst days sober are better than my best days high. I justĀ haveĀ to keep my recovery first priority because anything I put before it will be the first to go if I don’t. I take it one day at a time and stay in contact with my Higher power. And never forget where I’ve been.
If youāre ready to start your own Story of Hope, help is available on addictionhappens.org and at mygarrettcounty.com/provider-guide.
