Let me begin by introducing myself and telling you some history about me. My name is Bradley Mckenzie, I am 22 years old and a graduate of Northern High school. I played sports, talked to girls, and spent time with friends after school. I began hanging around the wrong crowd, and at the age of 14 began smoking weed and socially drinking. After dealing with a significant injury while playing baseball, my sports dream slowly fizzled out of reach. I was then introduced to prescription pills, from the doctor and from my group of “friends” at the time. I used pills from 10th grade to 12th, then quickly advanced to heroin. I was using before school every day, during school, and after school. I would fall asleep in class, show up late, or not show up at all. By my senior year, I was in alternative school the whole first semester. The second? Well, I was attending night school. I graduated by the grace of my principal at the time.
I am now 19 years old years old with a full-blown heroin addiction. I can’t afford my habit anymore. So, I began selling drugs and stealing to support it. It wasn’t a habit anymore. I wasn’t using when I would go out, because I hated going out. I didn’t want to be around anybody, because I was trying to keep my lifestyle a secret. I was now injecting it straight into my veins on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day. I was stealing from my parents, brothers, friends, everybody that had something that I wanted. Through these short 2 years of using, I have barely graduated, totaled 5 vehicles, and racked up 2 felony charges on my young record. I’ve lost 4/6 of the people I started using with, with many others dead or in jail.
After repeating this cycle for almost 3 years, I was tired. I was tired of running. I was tired of being a thief, a liar, watching my family shed tears over me. I wanted to stop using. I made countless promises to my mom that I would. I made countless promises to myself. I couldn’t stop. Looking back, I’m not sure if I really wanted to stop using, or if I was just telling everybody what they wanted to hear. That’s the delusional addict’s way of thinking that I was so comfortable with. Everybody has their “rock bottom” and mine came just in time. August 1st, 2018.
It was a normal day for me, I woke up sick and was already ringing people trying to find my fix for the day. As the hours pass I’m becoming sicker…feeling the desperation grow. I finally got a call back and did my normal routine to go pick up. I get loaded as soon as I get my hands on it…then my eyes go shut
I remember waking up in the ambulance, chords and wires hooked up all over me. The EMS sitting to my right as he watches my vitals…I hear my heartbeat begin to rise as the beeping quickens its pace. I’m shivering from the cold air, and from my nerves going crazy because I’m scared. We begin talking and he tells me that I have overdosed…I hang my head in shame. With tears running down my face, I remember forcing myself to look at my arms using every mark and bruise as another reason why I need to get clean.
I was awake and aware whenever we made it to the ER. They unloaded me and put me into my room where I had to wait on the doctor. My sister was there, and my brother. I remember seeing the look on their faces as I lay helpless, imagining the emotions they just went through while my heart was no longer beating. While the nurses were unhooking me so I could go home I told them, I promise you will never see me here again for this reason. I never went back.
I entered a treatment program on August 7th, 2018, and have been in counseling since. I no longer use heroin. I have built all my relationships back with my family, and I can’t thank them enough for everything they have done. I truly believe having a support system is a huge part of recovery…and I was blessed to be blanketed with so much love and support from day one. I have found real “friends”. People can actually trust me. I can show up to work on time…and work a full day. I can live my life as a normal person and experience and love every moment of life. I came from having absolutely nothing to my name but a couple syringes, a bag of dope, and maybe a few dollars. I was a terrible person, as low as they come…but I’m not that today. I take pride in my recovery because it’s the biggest and most important step I’ve had to take in my life. If I stay sober, I can do anything I set my mind too.
This day is so important to me because just 2 years ago, and 30 days to be exact, I was in this exact position. Narcan saved my life. With God’s grace, and dedication, I have made it this far and I will continue to work each and every day to better myself. I would like to thank my higher power, my family, the EMS, and all medical staff. The health department, Sadie, Theresa, and all recovering addicts. Take a moment of silence for all the lives we’ve lost to drugs, and say a prayer for all the loves that are still fighting the war of addiction.
